Why I Love England

This post was supposed to be written yesterday, on St. George's Day, but I got side tracked by a wonderful blog called My Friend Oprah so it was post-poned til today. (when I say English I mean England- I am not using the preferred term of British because I am not including Scotland, Wales, or Northern Ireland- though I've been to all three of those countries as well and while beautiful, they aren't England. IMHO)

This post is all about why I love England. The first time I ever set foot in England was in February 2003. It was love at first sight. My then boyfriend, now husband, was stationed in the very top of Scotland with the RAF, and though I flew to see him via Ireland, I flew back to the US via Heathrow. My first glimpses were of driving down the M11/M25 from Stansted to Heathrow and I could not get over all the sheep on the side of the road! The next visit was in May 2003 when Russ had been discharged from the RAF after 15 years of service. This was a proper touristy visit and it was amazing! I spent time living in England before and after we got married, and since moving back to the US permanently in 2006 we have been back twice to visit family and friends and it is still my favorite holiday to take. These are my reasons for being in love with England:

1- They produce some of the best people on the planet including my husband, my dual citizen daughter, my best friend, my fantastic in-laws, my husbands friends....I've met some really incredible people born and bred in England.

2- The history. I have stood in The Shambles, which is mentioned in the Domesday book and is at least 900 years old. I have had a pint at the Kirkstone Pass Inn which was built in 1496. I have stood on Hadrien's Wall and been to Vindolanda. If you are a history nut like me, England is one of the most inspiring places to be. I stand at Stonehenge and feel peace and contentment.

3- The Pageantry. Watch the changing of the guards, or the changing of the horse guards and tell me you don't get goose bumps. I don't believe you. No one does a royal wedding or funeral better than the English.

4- The food. Fish and Chips. Parsnip croquettes. Bacon butty. Cheese and onion pasty. I can guarantee you the best meal you'll ever eat is lasagna from any pub in England. They don't do it in layers like we do- it's one layer of minced meat, one layer of pasta, covered with a cheesy bechamel sauce. Heaven. Sticky Toffee Pudding. Here's another thing to love about English food. Cheese is a dessert. Or a full meal. You gotta love a country that can turn cheese into either option. And these are people who can't be arsed with whipping their cream. Oh no- they prefer to just pour it straight onto their dessert. Have you ever had a gooey, warm sticky toffee pudding covered with thick fresh cream? Please- before you die- have it just the once. You will love it. I promise.

5- Gardens. You can go pretty much anywhere in England and find a garden to roam about in. It's one of my favorite things to do.

6- The National Trust and English Heritage. No paving over historical landmarks in favor of another Walgreens or Starbucks for these people. They actually care about, preserve, and protect their national historical treasures. And we get to be the beneficiaries of that by visiting any number of NT or EH sites located around the country. I don't remember the exact figure but it is something like 60% of British people belong to either the NT or EH. When we lived in England, we belonged to the NT.

7- Spring Watch (Autumn Watch). My husband and I are amateur bird watchers. We love all aspects of the natural world, but particularly the birds and little animals. So a show like Spring Watch and it's autumn cousin Autumn Watch are right up our alley. We first watched it when living in England but since moving back to the US we watch it via UK Nova. I love a country where the night badger watch camera showing on an obscure BBC channel in the middle of the night has one of the largest audiences all year long.

8- TV. There's a reason why some of the best US shows on tv are actually re-worked British shows. This is a country that has given us The Office, BlackAdder, Fawlty Towers, The Royal Family, Gavin and Stacy, Phoenix Nights, Dad's Army, Max and Paddy's Road To Nowhere, Top Gear, Red Dwarf, etc etc etc.

9. Jane Austen

10. Beer Gardens. I love the fact that in nearly any town, village, or city in England, you will find at least one, more like 2 or more, pub with an attached beer garden. A beer garden is a grassy plot of land attached to the pub with picnic tables and more often than not a swing set and climbing frame for the kids. There is nothing nicer than sitting in the beer garden on a nice day supping a pint and eating a plate of chips.

11. The White Cliffs of Dover. If you have seen them, you know what I am about to write is true. If you haven't seen them, then let me just say you will get goosebumps and start singing out loud "there'll be blue birds over...the white cliffs of Dover....."

12. Next, Monsoon, Boden, Accessorize......the high street shopping is lots of fun in England.

13. Markets. Any town anywhere in England will either have a market or be near to a market. A market is a huge collection of outdoor (sometimes you do get an indoor market) vendors selling everything from meat to cheese to fresh produce to clothing to lighters ("Six for a pound- Your GASLIGHTERS"- my favorite vendor in Lancaster, Lancashire). Going to the market is a really fun day out.

14. Car Boot Sales. You know how sometimes on a Saturday in the US you'll get the paper and you'll mark up all the garage sales in your area, then you'll plan your route to drive to each one. By the time you get to the third you're sort of sick of driving everywhere and when you try to park at each garage sale, you wind up parking on the road a block down? Well, the English have brilliantly solved this problem by having car boot sales. You take a field, then everyone shows up with all the stuff they want to get rid of. You park up once then walk up and down the rows of parked cars looking at everyone else's stuff and buying the things you want. We sold most of the stuff we weren't taking with us when we moved back at our local car boot sale.

15. Guy Fawkes Night, otherwise known as Bonfire Night. November 5th they celebrate Guy Fawkes trying to blow up parliament by building effigys and burning them on huge bonfires then having a fireworks show. You've never seen fireworks anywhere on any fourth of July anywhere in the US that can rival any small town in England's Bonfire Night fireworks. Period.

16. Newspapers. Want a fun few hours? Pick up a selection of English newspapers. Find a beer garden. Order a pint. Now sit and read. And giggle. and smirk. English newspapers are rude, vulger, funny, inspiring, truthful and ludicrous. I love nothing more than spending a few hours reading The Telegraph, The Sun, The Daily Mail, and The Guardian.

17. Continuing on a theme- magazines are great as well. You haven't lived til you have read an OK magazine cover to cover.

18. Accents. Most people in England don't sound like Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral. There are so many different accents and dialects located around the country it's pretty fun to listen to them speak. I have to defer to my husband on this one, but apparently if you put three people in a room and only told them they were all from northwest England, they could immediately realize that one was from Chorley, one was from Manchester, and one was from Burnley just by accent alone.

19. Beer. They have the best beer, bar none, in England.

20. Cheese. I don't want to hear any arguments about French cheese. British cheese beats any cheese anywhere hands down.

21. Blackpool. Blackpool Illuminations. Chips with curry sauce eaten stood up on the street of Blackpool with the beach across the street, the sea breeze hitting you in the face. You walk further on and for the heck of it you get a warm bag of donuts. Proceed to eat said bag, let husband have last donut so you can lick your finger and eat all the sugar on the bottom. Fight with husband in the street over bits of sugar at bottom of bag. Head to the fair ground. Try to ignore strip club signs while laughing over the ridiculous get ups of Hen and Stag nights.

22. Coronation Street

23. Take That

24. Boots nose bleed plugs (Mary has serious nose bleed issues)

25. Footie songs

26. Black cabs with the doors that open out backwards

27. the local butcher

28. Feeding the ducks along the canal in Carnforth

29. The fact that very few tv presenters in the UK are below size 10. Nothing better than flipping on the tube and seeing Fern stood there. Makes you feel good about yourself instead of pissed off that you ate those donuts at Blackpool.

30. Builder's brew.

31. British men. Lovely.

I could probably go on and on all day like this but I will end this by stating my #1 favorite thing about England: the fields and fields of sheep. 3 miles from the center of London? Fields of sheep. Driving along the M1? Fields of sheep. Crossing the border into Scotland? Fields of sheep. Literally very few places in the UK where you won't see fields of sheep. Bliss.

The Total Money Makeover By Dave Ramsey

Even though Dad was visiting, I was still able to read the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. I've seen it listed on many frugal websites and decided it was something I should read. It was printed in 2003 when the economy (and stock market) was a lot better so I had to take some of it with a grain of salt. There was a lot I liked about this book. Much of it talks about digging yourself out of debt and then starting to save for an emergency plan. As previously mentioned, I am fortunate that I am not in debt. Well, not fortunate. We chose to live a lifestyle that didn't put us into debt. We also have about $6000 in savings. So we are on the start of a firm foothold. I disagree with the concept of saving 3- 6 months worth of bills. I think in theory it sounds great, but your average Joe-shmoe is not going to have $20,000 sat in the bank doing nothing. An emergency to me is one of the following: our car dies and we have to buy another one. Well, I can get a good used car for $4000. If I up the budget to $6000, I can get a damn fine used car. If my father in law was to have an emergency or anyone else in England, we would need to get there immediately. Again, we're talking around $4000 for plane tickets, spending money, etc. If my husband was to lose his job, we would need about $2400 a month to tick over. My husband would not go more than a month without a job. I am sure it is very hard to find a job in one's field, in one's hometown, making the money one is used to making. But if you are willing to travel, if you are willing to do anything else, there are always jobs. I'm sorry but it's true. My husband lost his job in February. He had a full time job the next day. That was forward thinking on our part. But since then he has been offered at least 3 jobs in his field that he has turned down. Why? Because they involved leaving home during the week and returning on weekends. Since he already has a job, we don't need to do that. But if he didn't have a job, we would do it without thinking twice. So having $6000 in the bank feels fine to us for an emergency fund.
The next thing he discusses is savings for retirement and for your child's college. Both are things Russ and I want to do. Russ will receive a small pension from the Royal Air Force for his time spent in the military. But that won't be enough. I do not agree with Dave Ramsey's concept of putting money into mutual funds and the stock market. We've all seen in the last 8 months how people's retirement funds have been totally obliterated. I have no confidence in a 401 (k). Russ and I were both making contributions which we stopped doing when the stock market started to tank. We have both seen our 401 (k)'s go downhill. Mine is now worth $200. I think Russ's is worth something similar. All that time and money wasted. I am going to have to do more research into safer investing. We may not become paper millionaires, but at least our money will be safe. I'm thinking of stuff like t-bills and savings bonds and cd's. This is something we plan to start doing soon, slowly. Once Alice is in school and I am working, the plan is to continue living on one salary, and the other salary will be split 75% to our retirement and 25% to Alice's schooling. Mary's dad is paying for her schooling and has already been saving for years. I have also asked the grandparents to stop buying lots of little things (the amount of gifts the kids get on a regular basis is crazy) and start contributing to a college fund instead. When Alice is ready for school, if need be, my entire salary will go towards her education. If need be, we'll sell our house to fund her education. The one thing we will not do is allow her to take out student loans. She will need to spend 2 years in community college to do her core work, then can transfer to a specialized school for the rest. If she fails one class, she's done and she will need to get a job. She will grow up knowing this. I have very harsh thoughts for parents who allow their children to take on that kind of substantial debt at such a young age. I was lucky to not get saddled with that kind of debt and I won't allow my children to be either.
All in all I think Dave Ramsey has a lot of good information. I could do without all the God stuff written throughout (sorry but God isn't "looking out" for your finances- He's too busy dealing with war and famine and stuff), but there are two things that really stuck out to me. The first was a quote by Albert Einstein that says "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds" in reference to people being frugal who get grief from their "unfrugal" friends and family members. I truly believe this to be true. The other was something along the lines of why do we "want to buy stuff we don't want with money we don't have to impress people we don't like." That really hit the nail on the head for me! Also, don't try to keep up with the Jones'- the Jones' are broke!

Over Budget!

My dad visited for four days (he left today) and Russ and I are over budget this week by over $100. And it's only Tuesday. I found it very difficult to stay on budget with guests visiting. I wanted to pay for things and make things comfortable and not have my dad have any worries while here. I would have been further in the hole if my dad hadn't insisted on paying for dinner last night.
I tried to stay on top of the money situation, but I also made the mistake of going to Target. I really want a blender. Russ wants a new four cup programmable coffee pot. Both items are basics we've never bought before that we would use and get our money's worth. So I think we'll buy them. I can see the start of the Compact getting further and further away. I was good last night in that I went on Sephora online and proceeded to put $82 worth of stuff into my basket, got all the way to the credit card entry area and came to my senses and turned it off. I struggle with what's being cheap, and what's being frugal? If I buy items for myself that make me feel good about myself ie. Touche Eclat which I love, from Sephora am I being a spend thrift? Or if I don't buy them should I be pleased that I am so frugal, or am I just not only cheap but spotty and dark circled as well? This is why the frugal life has appealed to me, but I can't seem to get on board full with it.

Confessions of a Hypocrite

In all this talk about frugality, joining The Compact, and saving money there is one thing I haven't mentioned. I love clothes. Having said that, I am not a hip and trendy person. The photo at left shows me in my absolute most fashionable outfit, which is kind of sad because I somehow doubt it's even fashionable. I'm sure neither Kasmira or Emily Martin would ever be caught dead in this outfit! There are several fashion blogs that I read regularly. By regularly I mean every day. Sometimes twice a day if I check in the morning and there is no update, I check again later in the afternoon. These include the following: http://liebemarlene.blogspot.com/, workwithwhatyouvegot.blogspot.com/, whatiwore2day.blogspot.com/, and the all time most fantastic fashion blog ever, the unequaled www.theblackapple.typepad.com/somegirlswander/.

None of these women dress anything like me. None of these women dress like one another, though I suppose you could say liebemarlene and Some Girls Wander have a similar vibe. I am not fashionable. I could never BE fashionable. It goes against the grain of who I am to even want to be fashionable. So why am I so obsessed that it's a rare day that goes by where I don't check these sites? I don't know. It's the hypocrite in me. The part of me that WANTS to wear lovely clothes and look beautiful and have all that lovely, girly stuff. Even as I write that, I know I could never, ever live that fashion lifestyle. First of all I have always wondered where Kasmira and Emily Martin STORE all those clothes. I know liebemarlene has an online shop where most of her stuff winds up. And the whole point of Erin's Work With What You've Got is to...work with what you've got. She puts together some really cool outfits but other than her massive handbag collection, I don't think she has loads and loads of clothes. I sometimes wonder how Emily even keeps track of her clothes. She writes on her outfits not only where they came from (lots of Anthropologie stuff- which I can't see my frugal self ever really buying from......I have an anxiety attack when I order from Boden or Gap on rare occasions) but what YEAR she bought them. How does she keep track? It seems like so much stuff between the skirts and the socks and the shoes and the underlayers and the blouses, and the separate collars. How big ARE her closets? Does she ever feel overwhelmed? Does she ever consider "decluttering"? Does she ever think "right, I think I have quite enough Anthro cardigans"? I get stressed just thinking of all the stuff she has to take care of and keep track of. It would actually be quite interested to follow a frugal fashionista blog- I haven't come across one yet, but I'll keep looking.

Failure already?

It's difficult to practise what you preach. While I love the idea of decluttering, getting rid of all the "stuff", and not accumulating any more, I have found that Russ and I are making lists of things we *need* to buy before we commit to The Contract. This runs the gamut from new computer bits (Russ has been wanting to rebuild the computer for a few years now) to a new duvet cover for our bed. Throw in a new mattress and sandals for the kids and you can see why it almost seems impossible to get off the treadmill of consume/spend. We have two duvet covers. Both are approximately 3 or 4 years old. One has ruffles along it which my husband hates. I have actually witnessed him punching the duvet ruffles to get them out of his face. It's a sad sight. The other duvet cover was bought in England and is a "double" which comes nowhere near to the size of our American queen sized bed. In fact, my mother walked past my bedroom yesterday and commented "you really need a bed skirt if you're going to have that tiny comforter on your bed". Do we need a new duvet? No. Do I WANT one. Yes. Our computer actually works. I am using it now. We use it regularly to download tv programs off of UK Nova, to webcam friends and family, and to do mundane tasks such as email. Do we NEED a new-built computer? No. Do we want one? Yes. The kids do actually need sandals. Unfortunately kids really do grow each year, unlike Russ and me who are both wearing the same shoes/clothes, for the most part, since around 2003. We'll see who ends up winning: frugal or stuff? I know who I'm rooting for.

Ramblings on what led me to The Compact pt. 2

This cute little stuffed animal with Mary was what finally pushed me over the edge. For those of you without a 10 year old child, let me introduce you to a Webkinz. They are little stuffed animals that come with tags allowing you to register it on the computer at Webkinz world, where you can play games to earn webkinz bucks to feed your pets, clothe them, house them, etc. Mary currently has in excess of 25 Webkinz. At our house. She has more at her father's and at her grandma's. She regularly asks for a new Webkinz. This is her official last webkinz that she received on Easter morning. The first thing she wanted to do upon receiving "Ellen" was to register her on Webkinz world. Which I allowed her to do. I asked if I could see some of the rooms she had set up for her animals and started scrolling through her Webkinz account. It was then that I saw the page after page of registered Webkinz that she actually had. And the Webkinz people so kindly post next to each pet what was the last date they were actually "played" with online. Page after page of "December 2008", "November 2008", "July 2008", "April 2008"....it went on and on. Apparently once Mary receives a Webkinz, she plays with it online, then moves on to wanting a new one. Once she has it, it's no longer fun and she "needs" another one. Page after page of pets online that were bought because she had to have it that haven't been played with in months, in some cases in a year or more. Now let me back up a bit to last Friday. Mary had off of school and we decided to go shopping with Grandma. I spent a lot of money, mainly on Mary. I knew she needed new clothes for summer. We went to Abercrombie where she proceeded to pick out a new summer wardrobe. Yesterday, I walked into her bedroom and the clothes are still sat. In the bag. Untouched. There are a pile of books on her bedside table. Books she had to have....unread. Our basement is literally loaded with toys and games that have rarely, if ever, been played with. I packed up a bag of clothing to be donated to charity last week. Many of the clothes had tags still on them. The family got a Wii and Wii Fit for Christmas. Wii Fit has been played with maybe three times since December. Between Russ and Mary, the Wii gets played with maybe one time per week. My husband bought me an iPod Touch for Christmas. I used it a lot at first, but have barely touched it in at least 2 months. My two year old plays games on it. WHAT?! That cost well over $200. What are we doing? What are we thinking? We think we are doing well because we have some savings and no debt. But what are we teaching our kids? We don't value the things we have because we have too much. Want something? Just go get it. It's time to use up, wear out, make do, or do without. It's time to spend more time as a family DOING and less time buying.

Ramblings on what led me to The Compact Pt. 1

In September 2006 our daughter Alice was born. The one thing my husband really wanted was for her to be christened in England, and to have a party for his family to introduce his new daughter. Since we had just done a huge move less than a year earlier (moving from the UK to the US), incurring a lot of legal bills and immigration bills, as well as having a new baby the money for a big trip was not there. In December 2006, exactly 12 weeks after I gave birth to Alice, I went back to work. By July 2006 we had saved over $12,000 and had paid cash for a first class trip to the UK, including the christening party for the baby. No expense was spared and we shopped til we dropped across England. We had a great time but the biggest lesson we learned was we could live off of ONE salary and use the second salary for things we liked, such as travel. In January 2008 my husband got a fantastic new job that paid more than what the two of us had been making together. We made the decision for me to stay home. During 2008 we bought a new house and moved to the area we wanted to live in- an area we were convinced we couldn't afford- and took another trip to England to see my husband's family and attend his best friends wedding. Life was good. We bought what we wanted, travelled when we wanted, and all on one salary. Though we weren't necessarily frugal (our food budget alone was close to $300 per week), we are both naturally quite frugal and we drive used cars and don't use credit cards. Then the bubble burst. In November 2008 my husband's company missed a pay day. He was paid 3 days later, but it was still worrying. There were several people Russ worked with who lived pay check to pay check who weren't able to buy FOOD for those 3 days. That scared me. While we weren't at that point, we definitely didn't have the suggested 6 months worth of savings in an emergency fund. We didn't have 3 months worth of savings. We started discussing me getting a job. We decided to pay off the small credit card balance we had and cut up the credit cards. In February 2009 my husband was sent home from work. The company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. To this day my husband has not been paid for the last 40 hours shift that he worked. Because of forward thinking, our family did not fall apart. We have no debt other than our mortgage. At about the same time we refinanced our mortgage and shaved 1% point off of the balance of our mortgage, saving over $100 a month. Shortly after Christmas, with lots of rumors swirling around about the company, my husband contacted his old place of employment and negotiated a part time position. He worked full time at one job, and part time at another. The day after his job sent everyone home, he started full time at his old place of employment. Forward thinking saved us. However, my husband's salary has now been cut in half, with a much higher insurance premium. At this point I kept saying I should go back to work. Russ was pretty adament he wanted me to stay home to maintain consistency to our children and to provide as good of a homelife as we could. So my mission in life was to provide a happy, healthy home while trying to save as much money as possible. It doesn't seem like a hard ship, it feels natural. Currently we have no debt other than our mortgage (we have one credit card without a balance hidden in a drawer "just in case"). We pay cash for everything. I feel proud of my husband and myself for doing so well financially. Sometimes I almost feel like it's bragging but then I laugh. In this consumer society, don't most people brag about what they HAVE, not what they don't have?!

Basic introductory thoughts

This blog is an attempt to discuss my thoughts on The Compact as well as to discuss other areas of interest such as books and travel. I am a stay at home mom who does not like the consumerist culture I currently live in. Recently, on Facebook, I read an old high school "friend's" page about themself and their goal in life was to make as much money as they could. I found myself pretty shocked to see that proudly displayed as someone's life's goal. Not make the world a better place, not to see the beauty in their daily world, not to help others but to amass as much money as possible. I suppose I shouldn't be shocked. Everyone else has their own concept of what in life would make them happy. For that person, the accumulation of wealth is their idea of success. I would have liked to see them expand on the idea- what would they do with their money? What do they choose to do now with their money? What is it about money that makes them happy? But to be frank it turned me off so much that I deleted them as a friend. I never really liked her much anyway. (joke) My desire to do The Compact as a goal for myself and my family is a long time in coming. Let me say I have always been a frugal person, however like most people living in the US today, I have fallen into the trap of material possessions, using shopping as a family activity, buying to please people: myself, my children, my husband, etc. It's never felt normal or good to me though. In fact, more often than not after a day of shopping I am so anxious I return most of what I bought anyway. I have toyed with frugal living off and on for at least 15 years. I always have good intentions, then they fall by the wayside as real life takes over. However this time I am determined to make a real lifestyle change. Several things have occurred in the last year or so to make me absolutely resolute to change our lives. In the next post I'll discuss what, why, and how we will make the change to living a more satisfying, frugal, less consumerist life.